A dear friend who experienced a crippling loss of a child asked me if I ever view my loss as a blessing in disguise. My short answer is below. The long answer is what led me to write two books. One listed on this site, the other still in process.
My favorite quote about the potential value of personal loss comes in the form of a quote from Brennan Manning (I paraphrase): "Grace teaches us that the worst thing that ever happens to us is the best thing that ever happened to us".
To me that means it takes time for grace to complete its work in us. Immediate grace gets us through a crisis with relative sanity. Ongoing grace, however, does the hard work of patiently transforming us to accept, even embrace, a new reality that is not preferred at first. Grace leads to an eternal perspective with greater tolerance toward the thing (s) that once killed us with doubt and pain.
C.S. Lewis is the master of the discussion about the stages of loss. He felt his pain intensely, so much that he doubted his faith openly, in writing. “We were promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, 'Blessed are they that mourn,' and I accept it. I've got nothing that I hadn't bargained for. Of course it is different when the thing happens to oneself, not to others, and in reality, not imagination.” ― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed.
He goes on to say: “God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't. In this trial He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box, and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down.”
He goes on to say: “God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't. In this trial He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box, and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down.”
Grace is the ultimate healer. It is not a quick fix, but an ongoing process that alters everything about us before it rests naturally in us. Gentle grace? Sometimes, but not always. It is a function of TRUTH that never rests until we embrace it, finding ourselves whole in a completely new way, His way. Until that happens, however, we think Manning's words are complete nonsense.
JG
JG
I hadn't considered grace an antonym for loss. It seems that loss charges into your life and wreaks havoc and grace does calm the chaos. I too have found that learning oneself reveals a side that God has indeed known was already there. Good stuff to digest. If only it came without living thru the pain. Nice succinct view that reminds Christians that whatever the source of loss, the one hope is Grace. Thanks JG
ReplyDeleteI so like your words here that describe the "ONGOING" work of Grace.
ReplyDeleteTo me that means it takes time for grace to complete its work in us. Immediate grace gets us through a crisis with relative sanity. Ongoing grace, however, does the hard work of patiently transforming us to accept, even embrace,
a new reality that is not preferred at first. Grace leads to an eternal perspective with greater tolerance toward the thing (s) that once killed us with doubt and pain.
However...
My observation is one that came from a local minister who doubles as a chaplain in our local hospital who opines that the completed work of grace is in the five stages of dying (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) - with acceptance being the most complete.
My question is... is that "grace" at all - or mere hyperbole, perhaps personal conjecture.
I have had experiences that would follow Manning's simple truth... yet "Grace is the ultimate healer... an ongoing process that alters everything about us before it rests naturally in us" - sounds somewhat like giving up (i.e, the 5
stages of death)
To me all of this negates the "supenatural" method of healing. It is to say that this is all I have left to "wade in" and it is not whether or not I will succumb to the ultimate demise of life itself - it's just a matter of when.
You see the collary here I'm sure. There is that "meshing" of thought processes between the grace to "live with" our illness or malady - and / or walking in the faith that God has healed you and embracing the existance of truth of that witness in your spirit even though that "complete" healing has not yet come.
If we look at God's WORD on the subject we might take Jacob wrestling with the angel to the place that when he could not overpower Jacob he touched his hip and put it out of place. Even still, Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” Genesis 32: 10-31
Notice verse 31... he walked away with a limp - yet He had been given a blessing from the Father saying, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans 'and have overcome'”.
To me there is no segway from that, into grace "that never rests until we embrace it".
It is my opinion that Grace cannot be complete unless there is added to it the WONDER WORKING POWER of God The Holy Spirit that never says die - but reaches beyond the aptitude of man's reach which has let them down and promised them no plan for recovery and to yield no response acce[t to say, "But God..."
Our Never Say Die God! Great book title! Thanks for your thoughts and insights. Always thoughtful and appreciated...I vote you for General.
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