I Can See Clearly Now!

December 4, 2015

Fourteen months ago I started noticing strange technicolor floaters in my right eye. These were rainbow monsters with four serrated edges, like a saw, not like of those little translucent islands that most of us have bumping around in our eyes. They usually didn't linger more than a few minutes, but even that was enough for motivate a quick visit to my optometrist. After a careful examination, she made an urgent call to an ophthalmologist (surgeon) to get me an appointment ASAP.

It took a couple of weeks to get a opening in the schedule, and that led to other appointments with optical specialists located on opposite sides of the Atlanta metroplex. But, in a mere two months (sarcasm), I was scheduled for surgical procedure to repair a macular hole in my right eye. Thus the rainbow saws, I guess.

A normal healthy macula

Holey macula Batman! (Mine) 

Before I sound like one of those tedious prayer meeting medical report/requests, suffice it to say I had the surgery (which was nothing compared to the recovery: 24/7 face down to allow the gas bubble they injected to float up, holding the macula secure so it could heal.) and all went well.    

The Thrill of Macular Healing

Never mind asking how that recovery went. It was as awful as you can imagine. Maybe worse. But I did it, and in six weeks at least one of the holes in my head healed perfectly. Good as new, right? (That process only took 6 months too!) Not really. For months I had one good eye and one very blurry eye. so, to compensate for reading, driving and watching TV, I donned a pirate patch and impatiently awaiting the next shoe to drop. Which it did. 

Months of choosing between scary or blind

About three months after the surgery, as the macular specialist warned, my mostly dormant cataract began growing.  You see, the gas bubble that healed the macular hole fertilized the cataract. So, all the good healing juices left behind by the gas bubble, turned my sleepy cataract into a school bully who caused trouble for three more months while I waiting for all the presurgical appointments  to be scheduled and completed. (Sounds like our vaunted new European style healthcare system is working as planned?) 

  

                                                              

                                                                            My Post Cataract Surgical Puss

Happily, the surgery was both routine and successful, and the six weeks since have been occupied by tedious eye drop routines, and more waiting for my final post surgical exam, with new prescription. Then, after another week of waiting for my new lense, viola!! I can see again.

Contemplating the bloggable lessons of a year with bad sight - with new glasses

To be continued...

Jack

   

Thinking about Truth - Quotes to ponder and discuss with good friends.

I have been writing on a book for more than a decade. The reason I don't proceed with is twofold:

1) I have changed dramatically over the past decade and things I believed earlier in my life make little sense to me now. The reason for that is that I am on a truth-seeking quest that takes me to disappointing, if not dangerous places that require courage to openly embrace. 

My mandate is that my ultimate truth must be mine alone, not someone else's.  

2) The chapter on truth has consequently undergone at least a dozen versions, not revisions, versions. The original was designed to demonstrate how much I know, and how much I studied. It was about 95 pages long, and no one - not even my dear mother - could endure that self-seeking blather. Others are shorter, some more clever, and some are scientific, sterile and snooze worthy. I can't get a grip on how to write a chapter worthy of the subject, without sounding overly complicated, or worse, trite. 

I am still contemplating another run at it but my eye surgery and subsequent cataract (still to be removed) keep my writing to a minimum.  

Truth is the most enigmatic subject I have come across. And while brevity is my goal, it's not in my nature, so to honor truth, here are a few thoughts of others that stir my juices and come closes to making my elusive chapter a reality. Note especially the first and the last. 

Enjoy. No, maybe it's better that you be troubled by what you read. 

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It isn't until you come to a spiritual understanding of who you are, that you can begin to take control of yourself. As you learn to control yourself, you will get control of your life. If you want to move the world, you must first learn to move yourself.  

Dieter F. Uchtdorf  On The Wings of Eagles. Self Mastery

Harsh reality is always better than false hope. 

Downton Abbey. Dr. 

The contrary of a truth can never be demonstrated. 

Thomas Aquinas

He that has light within his own clear breast may sit in the center, and enjoy bright day: But he that hides a dark soul and foul thoughts Benighted walks under the mid-day sun; Himself his own dungeon.  

John Milton (1608-1674)

God is truth and light his shadow. Wikipedia:shadow Psychology

Plato (427 BC-347 BC)

All truth is profound.

Herman Melville (1819-1891)

Truth is what stands the test of experience. 

Albert Einstein

Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

How dreadful knowledge of the truth can be when there's no help in the truth.

Sophocles (496 BC-406 BC)

A man should look for what is and not for what he thinks should be. 

Albert Einstein

Great spirits are always opposed by mediocre minds. 

Albert Einstein

All great truths begin as blasphemies. 

George Bernard Shaw

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. 

Arthur Schopenhauer

Truth bridges the gap between the empirical and the ethereal. 

Jack Getz

Bondages

Quote of the Day

Freedom is not the right to live as we please, but the right to find how we ought to live in order to fulfill our potential.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)


We must, at any cost, find our personal freedom before we can find our individual purpose. Each of us has a unique bondage experience that must be defeated lest we waste a lifetime fruitlessly struggling to find our greatest contribution.

Our bondages include anything that cause us to choose a lesser path than our unique truth demands. Sometimes they look like respectable careers, other times like accepted dogma or even right speech.

Mostly, however, we choose to lock our bondages deep in our souls, fearing their release would force changes in us that we are not willing to face.

These hidden - but never dormant - dark realities always require more of us than we are willing to give, and they are almost always only released by personal crises.

Freedom by an unsolicited crisis is painful and often humiliating, but any who have discovered their individual truth via crisis understands the truth of this musing. As Brennan Manning says, Grace alone allows us to understand that "the worst thing that ever happened to us is the best thing that ever happened to us".

I live and have the temerity to speak openly of these things because of grace. JG

Lessons From The Chicago Little League Cheating Scandal

If you have not heard, a Little League team from Chicago had their international championship stripped away and given to the runner up team today because the coaches and administrators of the team lied and cheated in the registration process. (My cynical side immediately asked why anyone would be surprised by cheating in Illinois - and Chicago - but that's another topic.)

The details are not important at this point so please don't get hung up correcting detail, look at the big picture issues.  This was not - as so many are wont to say when they get caught - a "Mistake". It was deliberate cheating and misleading families and kids into believing everything was done right. Those responsible have been fired, so that's that for now.

I want to say I heard the headline and basic facts on ESPC (some call it ESPN but since they are the most PC group in the media I changed their call letters). I will hear their spin later, but for now this is all mine!

First, I feel awful for the kids. I believe they played great baseball but they won their games on an unlevel field...at least until another team is exposed for the same crime.

Next, this was the first all African American team to achieve what they did. And, I fear these kids will become pawns for the race baiters who crawl out from under their rocks at such times.
My concern for those kids is that they will draw the right conclusions from this tragedy. They will be exposed, I a certain, to leaders who want to make this a race issue. You know the old, "If this were a white team from the suburbs this would not be happening" speeches.

The vipers who hiss the loudest are the racists in my view. They will no doubt do their best to turn this into a victim issue, "us against them" kind of thing like they did in Ferguson and New York earlier this year. They are happiest when rage replaces reason, and they gain speaker's fees for inciting innocent people to "get even".

So what are the lessons these kids should learn? That's not an easy task but here are three big ones:

1) You were robbed by people you trusted. That does not mean you can never trust leaders again, but you need to learn who you can trust. People who talk big, promise everything for nothing and care less about you than themselves are people to avoid.  Parents should be the first line of trust, but unfortunately, not all parents are trustworthy. Jesus said it well: Be harmless as a dove yet wise as a serpent.

Part of maturing is mastering the art of learning who you can trust and who you can't. Trust is not something you should give away all at once. It is built a brick at a time. Making and keeping small promises, as Stephen Covey says, is how we build trust.

Even good people will occasionally stop building well, or even knock a  few bricks down, but watch out for anyone who promises the world when it is not theirs to give. Trust is a valuable commodity we need in our lives...lest we become paranoid and reclusive.

2) This is not about you. If you played according to the rules with personal integrity you are not to blame. You are not required to relinquish your memories or your pride in what you achieved. Don't let anyone turn you into a victim by making you feel you got treated unfairly, especially because of your race. Cling to your feelings of joy that come from being part of something good, not a false shame that isn't your property.

3) When you have a chance to be a leader, at any level, be trustworthy at all times, even when you are out of sight. Partner with people who have integrity and a proven record of being trustworthy. Accountability and transparency are critical tools for every leader. Accept your responsibility and carry the trust of others with care. If you slip, be honest and start from there to rebuild trust as Covey suggests above.  Remember, each of us has the ability to help or hurt, build or destroy each day by our behavior and decisions. Our choices do matter.

Those are a few ideas of how to turn disappointment into something valuable. That may be the most important skill anyone can learn in life, because disappointments comes at us all with great regularity. If these kids can learn that at their age, they have a leg up on life.

There are more lessons I'm sure, but it's time to quit.  

Jack
February 11, 2015

The Dying Art of Satisfying Conversation

I chafe from the way the art of human conversation has evolved. Actually, I suppose the problems I have with the way we talk are not new, but they are becoming far more dominant and far less civil.
In short, I find that most conversations today are far more about winning the point than they are about sharing the moment.

(I am not only referring to verbal communications, but also to cyber conversations.  Regardless of how we connect with others, I think there ought to be some guidelines that will assist with the creation of far more satisfying converse.)

Here are a few suggestions toward a more civil state of communication that clearly dominate my psyche:

1) Listen more than you speak. Obviously, if both parties practice this to a fault there will be mostly silence, but I suspect that two polite people will even appreciate large gaps of silence. If someone broaches a subject that is important enough to mention, go with their flow, not yours.

2) Don't assume your responses must all be anecdotal. Everyone enjoys a good story, but some folks I know have nothing to contribute if it isn't about themselves. Yes there are plenty of folks who can not listen to another's story, sympathize with their woes or embrace their pain without interjecting their own anecdote, often trampling the other person's need at that moment.

3) Don't try to top the other person's story. This one irritates me the most. If I say I found gas for a dollar a gallon, don't respond with the fact that you found it for ninety nine cents. Just go with the original comment and don't assume that everything must be overshadowed by your amazingness.


4) Rejoice, mourn or sympathize with the speaker before you think about your own examples. We don't need to have our feeling minimized, marginalized or monopolized by yours. Steven Covey says it well; Seek to understand before you seek to be understood.


Here are a few quick examples that happen to me in my life that have remained unhealed wounds. In some I was the offender. Others, the offended.


Once years ago a fellow pastor assigned to a very small church called me to tell me they had reached thirty in attendance. I reacted immediately by saying "We had 47!" Almost every rule above was broken in that very short exchange. I deflated the joy of my friend and minimized his achievement in three words. I have regretted that for many years and he knew then what kind of a person I was. I have since apologized.

One time we had friends visiting in the Fall, and I had spent the better part of two days raking leaves (before blowers were around). I bagged and placed about thirty bags by the curb, and when the guests arrived I mentioned that fact. The wife immediately responded with, "That's nothing! WE had almost fifty!" See the problem? I foolishly thought my labor was worth something, but in one instant, two days of awful work were tossed aside as insignificant by six words.

I once shared that I had undergone a surgery that was healing well. Without even a reference to my statement, I immediately heard them shift to a completely different subject never mentioning my original statement. They needed to talk about themselves at any cost.

Or my favorite relates to labor pain or golf stories. The first person to speak does so at their own risk.
"I was in labor for twelve hours" is often greeted by, "Boy you are one lucky lady/ I was in labor for sixteen hours." Or, "I shot a 78 today." Answer: "I never took two puts on the back nine." I sometimes say the first liar doesn't have a chance.

Conclusion:


The examples of rude conversation  are rife, at least in my life.  I do my best to emulate the people who make me feel good when we make contact. They are interested in what I say, they ask good questions or respond with understanding, even humor, not lectures or amazing anecdotes about themselves.

My wife is such a person, and I don't know anyone who doesn't like to be with her. I know others too who are seriously interested in what others have to say more than themselves. Clearly they are secure in themselves, even humble, so much that they don't think it's important to turn every spotlight on themselves. In fact, getting them to talk about their lives is more difficult than lighting a match in the wind.

I need to stop, but if all I have done is make you aware of the need to listen more and win less, my efforts are worthwhile.  Yes, I still do it wrong more than I like, but fortunately I still chafe every time. It's a journey folks.